Static, Speaking Her Name
by ithaswhatitisnt
Summary: "He was mine, and at the same time, he wasn't." Ririchiyo's having trouble processing the reincarnation fiasco. Contains spoilers for the manga. RirichiyoXSoushi
1. Chapter 1

Soushi and Chiyo are so adorable. They make my heart hurt with how beautiful they are. I like to see this story taking place (for those who have read the manga) after the Night Parade of 100 Demons, so this is after everyone is reincarnated. I like to think it's far enough ahead that almost everyone is the age they are in the anime. I just couldn't wrap my head around how much that would hurt to have someone be the person you once loved, except to have it not be them. Please enjoy! I don't own Inu x Boku SS.

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Forced. Every interaction between them felt forced and awkward and Ririchiyo didn't know how much more she could take. Since she found out about the Night Parade of 100 Demons, the reincarnation fiasco, and everything that had transpired since then, everything was wrong. For now, Ririchiyo kept her eyes trained on her cup of tea ( _"…lavender, which has a calming effect…"_ )...she almost dropped her cup. Damn. No, she couldn't do that. Not anymore.

"Miss Ririchiyo? Are you well?" The voice. _His_ voice. The tone and meaning and pronunciation were all the same, but it wasn't _him_. She rose from the table, eyes downcast, trying to control her trembling hands.

"No, I'm not feeling well," she muttered, and he swept into a bow.

"May I have the honor of escorting you upstairs?" No. No, he couldn't, because it was all wrong.

" _No_!" she yelped, and before he could voice his concerns of inadequacy, she raced up to her room. Ririchiyo slammed the door behind her and went to her desk. She sank into her comfortable desk chair. Marai squawked in joy, and Ririchiyo shushed him.

"Quiet, now. I need to think," she told him. The bird tilted his head as if he understood, and Chiyo began her thinking process.

 _ **I can become him for you**_ , the doppelganger had offered as soon as she had figured out the tragedy. She had accepted because at the time, she thought it would ease her heartache. However, the more she reminisced about the past Miketsukami, the harder it became to accept the present replica.

Chiyo picked up a pencil and twirled it between her fingers. Drawing and writing were usually what calmed her down, but today, neither of those activities would suffice.

 _ **My**_ _Miketsukami_ , she thought idly, and before she knew it, she had sketched him. Not the replica, but _him._

"Miketsukami," Chiyo whispered, her tone that of a grief-stricken widow. A teardrop fell on the page and she didn't bother to hold her tears back. "I love you."

The present-day Soushi stood outside her front door, a fist clamped in his mouth so she wouldn't hear his sorrowful sobs. He had heard her. How could he not? He was designed to be attuned to everything about her.

When he heard her whisper his name, he released a quiet, anguished howl. It was his name, yes, but he would never fully be hers. That particular pleasure belonged to his past self.


	2. Chapter 2

Ririchiyo had not come out of her room. All phone calls and texts had gone unanswered for a week. Karuta had been leaving food outside her door, very worried for her friend, and she would tear up when she would come back and see Ririchiyo had not eaten any of it. Nobara stood outside Chiyo's door, wheedling in a motherly way for Chiyo to come out. Sorinozuka came to bang on the door, pleading for Chiyo to come out because he feared the worst. After multiple attempts, Sorinozuka slumped against Chiyo's door, sobbing. Watanuki even pulled Zange aside and demanded to know what was wrong with Ririchiyo.

"That, I don't know, Banri," he said mournfully. "Her sorrow is so palpable that it's physically blocking my vision."

"I didn't know that was possible," Watanuki said, and Zange shrugged.

"First time for everything."

"She needs to come out. She's worrying Karuta," Watanuki grunted, but Zange could hear his own unspoken worry.

"She'll come out when she's ready," Zange promised, reaching to give Watanuki a hug. For once, Watanuki accepted.

In the week since Ririchiyo had barricaded herself in her room, Soushi slowly descended into madness. Without being at his beautiful master's beck and call to occupy him, he had nothing left to live for. He had briefly considered breaking the door down, to force himself on her: "I'm not _him_ , and I never will be! I'm just _me!_ I'm just a dog, ready to die for _**you**_!" But he knew he wouldn't be able to barge in on her self-imposed solitude. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Whenever the others came to call at Ririchiyo's door, there was Soushi, red-eyed and ever vigilant.

On the morning of the 8th day, Nobara came to Ririchiyo's door, and Soushi was silently weeping outside. Nobara hated men, but her heart went out to Soushi, who was easily the most devoted SS agent she had ever had the pleasure of working alongside with. She felt empathy that he wanted to help precious Chiyo, but she wouldn't let him.

"Soushi," she said carefully, and he looked up at her. "Soushi, it's alright, it's not your fault."

"No," he hissed. "It's not alright." Nobara inwardly flinched at the venom in his tone, but she didn't dare break eye contact with him. "I haven't seen her in a week. _A. Week_ ," he emphasized. "How can I properly take care of her when I can't even get in to see her?" He sprang to his feet and punched the wall beside Nobara's face. She scowled at him.

"I know it's hard for you, but you don't have to take it out on the drywall," she spat. She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving a seething Soushi.

Nobara didn't understand the half of it. How could she? It wasn't as if Sorinozuka had locked himself in his room and refused to even talk to her. No. Nobara didn't understand, none of the other SS agents could understand…none of the other residents would ever be able to understand what a heart-wrenching ordeal this was for him.


	3. Chapter 3

Inside her room, Ririchiyo looked gaunt and unhealthy. She hadn't bathed in a week and hadn't eaten anything in all that time. She didn't care to, not when she knew _he_ was out there and she would have to look him in his heterochromatic eyes knowing that she was the reason for the infinite sadness sparkling in them. She couldn't face him, and she wouldn't. Maybe she could starve herself to death. It seemed a much more favorable aspect than torturing herself any longer.

 _The real Miketsukami wouldn't stand for that_ , a small voice in Chiyo's head mentioned. The real Miketsukami… _ **my**_ _Miketsukami_. The past Miketsukami would've sobbed himself dry if he could've seen the state Chiyo was in. The duplicate, on the other hand…would he care as much? Really, genuinely care? The Miketsukami Chiyo loved had been so sensitive, so attentive, so honest to a fault. The one she knew was seated outside her door was only a shadow of the original. No matter what he would do, he would never take _his_ place.

The sketch she had made of her beloved Miketsukami rested in her unused bed. Marai was kept well-fed. _He_ had adored Marai. She figured she owed it to him to care for Marai. Herself, not so much.

The apartment wasn't dirty; in fact, it was spotless. If she kept the apartment the way _he_ liked it, it would be exactly as if _he_ were there. As if he were in the kitchen making her lavender tea as silently as possible to avoid disturbing her mediation. She had to, she had to, she had to. It was a compulsion she couldn't ignore, an itch she couldn't stop scratching, and she knew it would kill her if she didn't stop. Chiyo didn't want to stop. A small portion of her brain gave itself over to rationality, and began to give Chiyo a stern talking-to.

"You can't live inside a memory," she said out loud, wrapping her arms around her knees. She began to rock back and forth. "It's not a memory. HE'S REAL!" She hadn't spoken aloud in days, and her throat was raspy from continual bouts of tears.

 _Was_ , her brain reminded gently. _He was real, yes. Do you think he would appreciate what you've done to yourself?_

"He can't appreciate anything," she snapped. She refused to finish the sentence. It was too morbid for Chiyo to bear.

 _You can't live inside a memory, true. But if he were here, would you want him to see you this way?_ Her brain argued. Ririchiyo shook her head vigorously. She knew if she opened her mouth, the tears would start and they would likely never stop.

 _It's hard to move on, but you have to try to go back to a semblance of a normal life. Okay? For Miketsukami's sake._ In that instant, it wasn't just the past Miketsukami: it was the one waiting outside her door as well. Chiyo glanced over at the remnants of her cell phone. She had thrown it against the wall as hard as she could so she wouldn't have to talk to anyone.

 _I'll have to leave_ , she thought sadly. She attempted to get to her feet, but the week of not eating and remaining in one spot had rendered her legs incredibly unstable. She sighed. _This could be troublesome._ Against her better judgement, she decided to call him in. _It's not like the door has been locked, and he'll probably just break it down. He tends to overreact._

Ririchiyo took a deep breath, swiveled her torso as best she could to face the door, and as loudly as she could manage, called, "Miketsukami?"


	4. Chapter 4

A wave of adrenaline rushed over Soushi and he gasped. It was a feeling he hadn't known for ages, and it felt so good that it hurt. It was _her_ voice, true, despite being raspy almost beyond recognition. It was the first time she had addressed him by name. And she wanted him. She obviously needed him. Soushi didn't think; he leapt to kick the door down.

The sigh that greeted him was dismal. A spotless apartment, a happy bird, and his beautiful master, looking gaunt and disturbingly emaciated.

"Miss Ririchiyo." He was horror-stricken, and she merely looked up at him and smiled as though she were a child.

"Hello," she rasped, and his throat swelled with unshed tears.

"Miss Ririchiyo!" he gasped, swooping toward her and scooping her up into a one-armed embrace. The movement was so fluid Ririchiyo couldn't tell the exact moment she had left the floor. Soushi didn't care about the fluidity of his movements. The only thing he could concentrate on was _her_ , safe in his arms and inexplicably nuzzling into his chest. He couldn't allow himself to even hope that her feelings toward him had changed at all.

"Miketsukami," she said, her normally harsh voice softened against his torso, and that was all he needed to start sobbing.

" _Why_? Why did you do that? You…you worried us all…all of us…and…and… _and_ …" His voice was so frantic he couldn't get the words out. Without warning, Chiyo reached her hand up to touch his cheek.

"Miketsukami," she said again, gently smiling at him. "I'm sorry for worrying everyone. I just needed to be alone. I needed to reflect on so many things and the distractions were overwhelming…"

" _Why didn't you tell me_?" he demanded, cutting her off. His emotions were boomeranging in every direction and he didn't know what else to do besides yell. "I sensed your distress but you wouldn't tell me what was plaguing you and I could've taken you away! _I could've been with you_!"

"Miketsukami," she said, and he calmed slightly. "You were one of the distractions." Before he could say anything, a distressed look over his face, she buried her face in his neck. "It's…difficult for me to be straightforward, but to know you had all _his_ features and yet couldn't be _him_ …that was mind-numbingly painful." The feel of her lips, her hot breath on his neck, that she was speaking to him so honestly, was more than enough to send him spiraling. He could stay, wrapped in her touch and delirious, but he had to focus. He had caused her infinitely more pain than he would ever know, and although completely unintentional, he still felt horrendously guilty. He squeezed her tighter.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Ririchiyo cooed. "I'm the one who refused to give you a chance. That was wrong." Her breath caught in her throat. "I'm sorry."

"Miss Ririchiyo," he started, but she stopped him.

"This was all me." She squirmed, her tiny hands pushing weakly against his chest. He took that to mean putting her down. Soushi reluctantly released her but kept one hand on her shoulder to keep her balanced. She refused to look him in the eye.

"Please." Her voice was uneven, and he didn't like that one bit. It sounded as though she was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry…Miketsukami." His name off her lips, despite being almost tear-soaked and yet filled with so much meaning…it was almost more happiness than he could bear. "Let me…please…allow me to have another chance. I'll be more open-minded this time. I promise." Tears streaked down her cheeks, and in that instant, Soushi forgave everything. He used his free hand to brush away her tears and tilted her chin to look up at him. What met Chiyo's gaze was a blinding smile.

"It's all forgiven, my beautiful master," he said. "Everything." Chiyo smiled.

"Thank you, Miketsukami," she said, embracing the elation of his name on her lips again. Soushi, however, was in a new universe of ecstasy. She didn't despise him, he could serve her and feel much less self-resentment; thus far, this eighth morning was better than any other day he had experienced in his life.

"It's my honor and my pleasure, Miss Ririchiyo," he said gleefully. He swept into a bow and asked, "Would you like some breakfast?" Her stomach had long since stopped growling, but there was a hollow feeling in her gut she couldn't seem to escape.

"Yes, please," she said gratefully. Soushi scooped up his tiny doll of a master and took off down the stairs with her. He was going to do things right this time. No forced or awkward interactions…just the precious bond between a dog and his beloved master.


End file.
